So ever since Katy, you’ve been thinking about going to Crystal Lake, IL for NAMGBR 2025? You’d love to see how Chicagoland puts on a show, but don’t know how you’re going to get there? You thought you’d make the long trek to Calgary in 2023, but didn’t and now you have regrets? Well, you’re outa luck, because our drive to the Land of Lincoln will be THE WORST ROAD TRIP… EVER!!
We hear you asking, “Why is it going to be THE WORST ROAD TRIP… EVER!!"? Well, for one thing, you could make the trip in two days. Just hit the interstate and the cruise control on your MG and wake up in Chicago two days later. But no, not us! We’re going to take six friggin’ days! And those nice, comfortable interstates? Fugetaboudit! We’re going to take those miserable, two-lane, twisty roads that will make every day about 30 hours long!
What else, you say? How about the scenery? We could choose to view the enchanting expanses of suburbia, with their arrays of neat strip malls and outlet stores. But instead, we’re going to expose you to fences, pastures, trees and hills. For mile after mile after endless mile.
But surely it gets better when it comes to food, right? HAH! No more Chilis and Applebees for you! You better like those run-down local diners, with their “character” and “diverse” menus. And fast food? What advantage does a local drive-in have over the consistency and predictability of a McDonald’s or Chick Fil A?
How about hotels? If you just hit the interstate, you could comfortably overnight in, say, Springfield, MO and cruise into Chi town the following day. But with us, you get an endless procession of roadside flop houses in every flea-bitten town in flyover country.
So if we still haven’t convinced you that this road trip is entirely underwhelming, just check out this proposed itinerary:
- Day 1: Meet up in aptly named Suphur Springs, TX.
- Day 2: Bake in the sweltering Texas summer heat on your way to Hot Springs, AK. Where it also smells.
- Day 3: Fight off mosquitos in the Ozark National Forest and just try to get some rest in Branson, MO.
- Day 4: Get your kicks on Route 66 instead of the better interstate they replaced it with decades ago. Stop somewhere in the most boring part of the state.
- Day 5: Try to avoid crime ridden St. Louis, endure more Rte 66 and stay in Springfield, IL – a town that still celebrates log cabins. Really.
- Day 6: Try to not let the endless corn fields put you to sleep as you finally spill out of your car exhausted in Crystal Lake.
If you’re still thinking of going to NAMGBR 2025, and if we haven’t convinced you that our route there will be THE WORST ROAD TRIP… EVER!!, then you have our deepest sympathy. If you would like to further discuss this or your other poor life choices, please contact Scott Hardy at scott.b.hardy@gmail.com and we will be glad to offer you a consultation. Offer only available until the end of April, 2025.
